Wednesday, November 3, 2010


     "An 'Obligationist' ... Yes, you know one ... Perhaps you are one? It's that person who's name causes you to roll your eyes and taste the metallic acid of dread in the back of your throat. The Obligationist is the reason that you screen your calls. The Obligationist is the person behind the dreaded holiday dinner that ruins the spirit for the day. The Obligationist is the person who "volunteers" to help you out, just to be "a friend", then reminds you of that favor for the rest of your living days. The Obligationist is the person who is somehow in your life, but you can not figure out what terrible thing you did, in this life or some other, that you should deserve this. The Obligationist is a vile person who feeds on your life energy so it can feel alive.

     This is someone who keeps showing up in your life like dogshit on your shoe. This person is a continuous source of frustration and irritation. A gnat circling your head in the night, it's incessant buzzing waking you just before you drop off into peaceful sleep. They are like a rash that will not go away. Obligationism is an artform for the losers of our world ... It is a black art. A dark craft practiced by people without a clear vision of "self".
They will find something that you need, or get involved with someone who you can not avoid. It is as difficult to rid yourself of the Obligationists as it is to rid your body of a wart, or an infestation of lice ... Serious measures must be taken. The question is; Are you willing to do what must be done? The Obligationist will always try to have some sort of hold on you. It is not easy to escape once one has latched on.

     Perhaps your Obligationist is a family member? ... Perhaps someone you thought was a friend? A neighbor? Maybe someone you had sex with one foolish drunken night. Perhaps an ex-lover whom you feel sorry for? Oh yes!, sympathy is one of the greatest weapons in the arsenal of the Obligationist . Sympathy and guilt are their weapons of choice. Many an Obligationist will be stricken with serious and debilitating illness, (or feign it!). The Obligationist will use their illness or handicap to control you! They will milk it for every inch of sympathetic POWER it will give them! And BEWARE of any person who does you a FAVOR! This too, is a weapon of the Obligationist. THE DREADED "FAVOR!" If you let an Obligationist do you even the smallest favor, they will bind you with it as if it were chains of iron! Only your life's energy can repay the Obligationist once you are obligated!

     The web of the Obligationist is tangled and complex. One obligation leads to another, and another, AND ANOTHER, until you are caught as a fly trapped in the lair of a spider! ... The Obligationist instinctively pounces upon any weakness you may have. The things which make us human, our caring natures, our generosities and pity. These are the qualities which the Obligationist will attempt to exploit to control you!

     Why? What is the reason for this Obligationistic behavior? It is jealousy, envy, insecurity and fear! The Obligationist is a weak quivering thing masquerading as a normal person. A tiny naked being shivering in the dark cold closet of their head. The Obligationist is jealous of your life! Jealous because theirs is empty and devoid of meaning. The Obligationist has no substance, so it must feed on yours! They must seek, through trickery, to obligate others to be part of their shallow lives. Since the Obligationist has no confidence in their own identity, they are driven to create a symbiotic relationship with you! They are as Vampires, stealing your soul by devouring your energy, your time and attention.
We all have them. Admit it or not, there is one or more in your life. I wish you well, and may I suggest that you look at yourself, and try to recognize that part within you that is ... an Obligationist!"

I've quoted this from the site of artist R.S. Connett. His website is here. This explanation of "obligationists" perfectly captures my feelings for moochers and so called "friends" who are only around when you have something to give them. People I have encountered over the years fit this description and I am in the process of trying to remove such people from my life. The picture above is also from his site and I have added it to this post as addicts are amongst the worst "obligationists" and moochers around.


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